4 U

As I look in to my heart
There’s a lot to see
But something that is clear
Is the picture of you and me
The heart cleans the fames with Windex
No less
Then the best
For my heart heavy as a chest
Look at it
Shining like gold
All the stories
All untold
Unfold
Like a rainbow
There over you
Pop into your head
My life, my truth
My fears and youth
Can you take it?
My heart
And not break it?
This repetition is ridiculous
It tears trust apart
That is the key to unlock the heart
I renewed the key two to many times
Kills me to say this
That key is mine
Forever I hold it in my mind
If ever to give it back
It would be the last chance
I want you but I don’t
This is were things get twisted
I feel like if I left for good
That I would miss it.

Bumble bee beating!

So I’m graduating as are a lot of you this year and I have to get a plan of what is going to be at the party to eat. My mom’s friend Tammy suggested this place in Elgin called bobs because it had really good pull pork. Personally I don’t really care what there is to eat as long as there’s fruit. But before my mom was going to spend a bunch of money on this place she hasn’t eaten at she was going to try it. So my dad and I are going to this place in Elgin and on the way there I’m getting very car sick, and it seems like forever and ever till we finally get to this place I rolled down my window and stuck my feet out and took my seat belt off so I didn’t feel so constricted. It didn’t take too long before my dad came out with six Styrofoam take out things in two plastic bags that had thank you written all over them.
On our way back I didn’t feel any better, texting people didn’t help so I put my phone down for a little bit, laid back and shut my eyes. My dad was talking to me and I would answer, in mid question I heard extremely big loud rain drops, my dad stopped and kind of sighed and made a disgusted noise like “ugh!” then followed it was a “oh great!” my eyes were still shut and the noise startled me so I sat up really fast, my vision was smudged. On the wind shield there was a layer of green slim that we later found out was bumble bee guts all over the wind shield, realizing what had just happen my face dropped and I covered my face in disgust. Making the much necessary EW and ugh noises and curling into a ball I got over it and started to calm down. Now back into my normal laying back eyes shut trying not to get sick position I couldn’t relax the same. Part of the reason was because I didn’t want the past to repeat itself, and the other part was I wanted to past to repeat itself and I wanted to see everything happen instead of just having my dad tell me the details.
Finally we got back to Rochester and I found something mint and I got to roll down my window, I started to feel better as we rolled into Andy’s liquor I waited for my dad to come out I started getting calls. Then on our way home I still ate my minty sucker and currently I feel much much better. YAY!

random thoughts

I’ve always been told when people sing it’s a sign that their happy! Thinking about that I guess I’m happy a lot cause I sing all the time, in the shower and in the car with the windows up so no one can hear me, or jokingly to friends
After all the years I’ve been in dance you think my shoulders wouldn’t go so forward. ‘put your soulders back’ is what I heard most often. My posture needs to be fixed. 
You want to know whats weird? My stomach always hurts in the morning as if I were hunrgy, but I never want to eat cause when I do I get more hurts and start to feel worse. 
This morning I was straightening my hair and it was doing this ridonkulous poof thing I just didn’t understand. I actually asked it why it was being so uncooperative this morning…it didn’t answer. 
I like Ms. Felsh in the purple magents color she’s wearing today. PRETTY 
I really wish I had a wid berry ring pop. I think that’s the flavor…I’m pretty sure 
I use to be able to whistle through my teeth cause there was a gap, now theres no gap….i cant whistle through my teeth 
I can feel myself needing to sneez….now its gone I hate that. 
Back to singing, I have a song stuck in my head, I cant sing it on here though…just its there…I don’t even know what song it is it’s just on my ipod.
Now I’m hurngry, I miss Keyla Zuniga, she use to say that all the time.
Great hick-up… 
Time to go 

update!

Things that make me laugh:
Tayler Odearden
Becca Moir
Dani paddock
Steph Winter
Boys at taco bell
ANGEL!!
Running Giraffes
My brother
Tyler Mickelson
Tyler pPerry Movies
Random people on youtube
Avery
Avery's daddy
People falling
Falling upstairs
Rasberries
Bananas PUDDING!
Gospel rap songs
People at the mall that make huge sence
People that dont make sense
Babies laughing
Baby babble noises
Naratting for a animal
A boy going in for a kiss and the girl messing up his hair and walking away
Steven Odegarden
Chase (my dog)
Some peoples laughs
Starring contests
Being tickled
Theres alot :)

Moving

I just made the final opinion about moving. I have said that I’m scared and nervous and I have a little ansiety about it, so on and so on. Last night I finally said after everything that had happened in the last 4 months…I simply can not wait. I cant wait to meet new people, go to a new school, have an apartment with my best friend trying to figure out the big world, and basically starting a whole new life and one of my top goals in this new life I’m going to begin is….not letting my past life colid/mesh with my new one. To that there are acceptions and that’s if the past wasn’t ‘toxic’ to me then I would let it mesh but in the case of what I’m talking about there is not a lot of cases where that is true. Things I have been hearing about moving is, the fact that when I do get comfortable up there in the cities its so busy all the time and there’s a really small chance that I won’t find new people to hang out with and that makes me excited and nervous at the same time. Excited cause DUH new people and I’m getting sick of Rochester just for the fact that I feel like I know everyone or seen them before. And Nervous because well DUH meeting new people their NEW! So I’m nervous and scared for the same reason basically.
Along with all of that Tayler and I are going up to the cities tomorrow and looking at an apartment that she found while I was at school. Thank goodness it’s a early realease, or I don’t know if we would be going. This apartment is in uptown Minneapolis and it had everything Tayler and I had on our list plus a pool ! even though we wont be able to use it..unless we love it up there and want to stay in the cities all summer, which could possibly happen. I just stated up top I’m sick of rochester. Anyway the apartment is not to much to ask for a month and the place is really nice. It has something that was top on our list and that was it was a locked area so you had to have a key to get in. This place is also a family area so, if we needed extra help with money BABYSITTING and that’s not even a hard job as long as you get along with the kids.
Another thing to make this all happen, I need a job. Currently I don’t have one and that makes me so mad cause I need one in the worst way. On conversation I had with my mom was why don’t I go for fast food places, its money and I don’t have anything agains fast food places I just don’t want to know what’s really going in my food. Simple as that, I want to be able to eat my McDonalds and think wow think is what it went through to get into this bag and in my hands right now, I just don’t want to know. My mom rolled her eyes and just walked away. Yesterday I went out and filled out about 5 applications, but before that I went back to one place and asked them where they were at with everything and she said that they don’t hire summer help. WHY NOT! I’m a good worker and I want to hours cause I need to money. This is one reason why I don’t want to move just because I cant get a job. Today I’m going to summery places like golf courses and pools and some places that I see only open in the summer time or when it gets nice. WISH ME LUCK, I’ll need it.

Random thoughts...

My hands are freezing
Lil Wayne is hot!
I feel like jamming out kind of
Boys are ridiculous
I got it  ha-ha
Music makes my mood better
I feel like someone’s watching me through my window..
I’m subconscious
Okay I shut it now I can really rock out!
It’s really late
Is high school every going to be over…?
Why do only certain things at certain times in my past make me feel good?
I’m going to text someone…..
…………….
…………….
Okay back...
Danielle just facebooked me
EW…who does facebook?
Me!
Oh my gosh a boy facebooked me now!
Maybe we’ll get married…
Just kidding I don’t really believe that
…
I just got side tracked
I look good….look it up.
I wish I had ice cream
Probably would melt though
I can’t wait till Friday
Or September
Meeting new people is awesome!
My hands are still freezing…
What!!!!!!!!????
Okay my right hand is freezing
My left is warm…
Not weird
Later!

hahahahahaha

Things that make me laugh:
Tayler Odearden
Justin Allen
Joe Heidebrink
Running Giraffes
My brother
Tyler Mickelson
Tyler pPerry Movies
Random people on youtube
Avery
People falling
Falling upstairs
Rasberries
Bananas PUDDING!
Gospel rap songs
People at the mall that make huge sence
People that dont make sense
Babies laughing
Baby babble noises
Naratting for a animal
A boy going in for a kiss and the girl messing up his hair and walking away
Steven Odegarden
Chase (my dog)
Some peoples laughs
Starring contests
Being tickled
Theres alot :)

Music

When someone asks you what you listen to, what do you say? Normally i would say everything. Resently someone asked me what i listened to and i said everything and he said okay what about Silverstein? Thats when I realized, okay so i haven't listened to that. So i typed it in to youtube and they had me listen to Smile In Your Sleep,it was really good. Then they had my type in Senses fall and i listen to the song Family Tradition. That is what I'm listening to right now, and this song is really good to.
Over all i think that when someone asks what you listen to 'everything' isn't really the correct answer.. although I do understand if you mean that your open to basically everything. That is what i think that people really mean.